My Happiness: My Heartbreak?
by Illusions of Myth
Summary: [SS] 15 years ago, Sakura's family was murdered. In the present, she's living a tough life: until she stumbles upon an injured stranger one night. He's a mysterious, silent figure and soon, Sakura discovers his terrible secret.
1. The Accursed Daughter

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: Darker, deeper…better?_

_We can always hope, can't we?_

_Trust the author: I like this one._

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter One: The Accursed Daughter (Prologue)**

Tell of a story not too long ago.

There lived a very happy family, content and close. The young couple loved each other dearly, cherished their first-born and anticipated the arrival of another. They lived in a fleeting fantasy - till tragedy finally found their home and began to strike, mercilessly, lethally.

Their newborn was welcomed into the world with plans of a funeral. Her mother contracted an infection during the birthing, and died when the child was no more than three. But this was not the last of their troubles.

The remaining father, son and daughter were still in the throes of mourning when death revisited their clouded door: in the form of a cold murderer. In the time of one shadowed, fateful evening, blood covered what was left of the already suffering Kinomoto Family.

None of them survived…at least, that is what they thought.

This story…the hurricane tale of the 'accursed daughter'…continues…To a torrential night, a lightless dark, a chance of fate and a paralyzed stranger.

And to a series of happenings that Destiny has in store.


	2. The Paralyzed Stranger

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: Darker, deeper…better?_

_We can always hope, can't we?_

_Trust the author: I like this one. Just make it past the long personality- and history-forming descriptions, and I think everyone will be fine._

_I beg of you: please do not hesitate to comment, compliment or critique. I believe my style was somehow different (positive or negative, that is for all of you to decide) in this chapter._

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter Two: The Paralyzed Stranger**

Sakura Kinomoto was walking tiredly home from her work at the flower shop. Awhile ago, the day held no sign of the current rainy conditions: the sky was blue, the clouds were pure white, the sun was shining brightly gold and most of all the weatherman said nothing of a storm. Then again, nobody said that people should trust media broadcasters.

A cheap, old umbrella was no match against the batter and beating of the heavy rain. The dark shadows forming in the blackened heavens hid the stars and moon from view, and threatened all below them with the fury of water. Lightning streaked across them in large, almost artistic forms. Thunder followed with near-music quality, accompanied by the song of nocturne birds and falling drops of water. Overall, a thick curtain of fog gave everything a dream-like quality.

Despite this natural symphony of colors and sounds, not many were on the flooded sidewalk to observe it. Only the few remaining pedestrians were racing against time and precipitation to make it to the safety of their homes, and the steady tap of footsteps were decreasing more and more in occurrence. There were a few irritating police sirens erupting off somewhere, and scattered bangs of pots and pans.

Closing the useless, torn umbrella in frustration, Sakura tossed the wrecked thing to the side as if no more important than litter. Pulling up her inadequate blouse in a failed attempt for cover, she growled with annoyance and ventured into the lonely ways already half-soaked.

For her, this was life as she knew it. As a near-bankrupt wretch, living on a small quantity of food and an even tinier apartment to supply for education, she didn't find that situation too surprising…Fate constantly threw minor disasters at her: should it come in the form of academics, work, money, lovelife (rather, lack thereof) or nature.

Either way, things were far from glamorous.

Instead of taking the normal, cemented path to home (if one would call her broken, leaking-roof house a 'home'), she took the shorter path home. The trail through the park cut travel time nearly in half, but there was the trouble of mud, silt and other annoying things.

Still, Sakura was already yards into the park, and trying to ignore the discomfort that began to seep into her feet. The place wasn't as picturesque as before: Penguin Park was no longer the clean, well-kept playground that it used to be. The swing chains had broken over so many years of overweight children, the see-saw jammed from the effect of erosion, and the large penguin's paint was turning white with age.

These nostalgic thoughts were cut short as she tripped unceremoniously unto the wet soil, scraping her face on the littered rocks. Cursing inwardly, she lay there for a few moments before standing up lazily. Yet as she stood upright, some unknown object crashed full-on unto her.

-a yelp erupted.

Scrambling upright quickly, she wondered what strange woodland creature she might have encountered. A deer, perhaps? Or some kind of common mammal?

Clicking in annoyance, she began to walk ahead, but felt the same kind of obstacle. Stooping down, she squinted in the low light to check what was preventing her from moving. Seeing the faint outline of a ruffled, uneven object, she bent lower to see clearer.

As she did so, Sakura suddenly detected the scent of blood. Did she…kill something by crashing into it?

Reaching out to touch the mysterious thing cautiously, she recognized the texture of sodden cloth. She then decided it might have been one of those homeless, street-stalkers who were one of the only people that were poorer than her.

Backing up with disgust, she sidestepped a few and continued on her way, that is, until she heard something through the rain.

"Help me…"

The rusty, broken voice was barely audible, but held such a level of intensity that even Sakura Kinomoto had to stop in her tracks. Retracing her footsteps, she knelt by the stranger and strained to see a face.

Brushing short dirt-laced hair to the side, she at first thought that it was an elderly-looking man, but as the pouring water washed the muck away, the person was revealed to be no older than herself. His face was still contorted in an expression of pain, and added years to his actual age.

"What do you want me to do?" Sakura asked coldly, only curious about the miserable beggar who just happened to bump into her. "Please, help me…" Was the forced reply.

She was about to leave the cursed creature on the grass when she noticed something on her hand. There was the stain of scarlet liquid. Suddenly feeling a streak of concern, Sakura slung her small backpack over the shoulder and carried the seemingly lifeless body up.

The 'beggar' wasn't as heavy as she thought he would be; Sakura didn't have much of a difficulty lifting him off the ground. Fortunately for both her and the unknown person, her house was only a few minutes away.

In spite of this fact, her legs nearly didn't make it up the stairs of the apartment building. Sakura was only able to open the door of her small place because she herself collapsed. From the factors of a tiring day and overtime, the weathering of the season and _this_, the exhausted girl had every reason to fall over.

Still, even at nine 'o clock, the auburn-haired girl managed to get back on her feet, turn on the lights, put the backpack on the kitchen table and take out the extra folding bed. Sakura's mind was too fatigued to criticize her decision of bringing a street rat home.

What was peculiar was that the stranger was bleeding steadily from the back. The fluid had seeped down across his face and shoulders, soiling her white extra bed red only moments from being pulled out. But not even the sight of blood could bring Sakura back from the brink of slumber. She was asleep before her hair met the pillow.

…………………………………………………………………………………

It was pitch dark when her eyes reopened. The digital clock read plain black, as the batteries had run out just moments before. The small window showed no light at all, and the only luminance was the small space between the door and the floor.

Sitting up, wide awake though still dead-tired, Sakura looked all around her. Everything was normal enough, and looked the same way it had always been on regular nights.

But the night before wasn't a regular night.

Noticing that the empty bed was gone from sight, the stranger gone like a passing moment, she began to doubt if the events of the previous evening were real at all. There were many feelings she had that told her it was all just some strange dream…but sense told her otherwise.

The only thing that made her stand up was the smell of blood in the air.

Tossing the thin blanket to the side, she made for the door. Her runaway guest left a trail of colored drops leading to the exit. The doorknob was marked with the same half-dried quality of blood, and the hallway outside her apartment bore irregular spatters of the liquid.

Sakura followed them, observing the trickle line getting narrower and narrower. She went like this till she finally came to a stop:

It was the stairs.

The trail disappeared, then created large stains on the third, eighth and eleventh steps that connected to each other with thread-thin spurts. Sakura's usually indifferent eyes widened to what she saw.

This wasn't the end of the shocking scene. At the foot of the stairs was a pool of said liquid, scattered randomly in a short area. A strange track led to the corner, showing fingerprints and scrapes.

Quickly bounding down the stairs, Sakura turned the corner and backed away in near-horror. She began to run back to her apartment upstairs, but noticed that her bunny-shoes were making stamps where they went.

Going back, she carefully knelt down beside the stranger. He looked quite dead…except for the fact that his chest was rising and falling just like any other person would.

Exhaling a long sigh of dear relief, she removed her stained slippers for the moment and leapt up the stairs, skipping the bloodied steps. Rummaging through her laundry for a clean towel, she finally found one and went back downstairs.

Sakura began to clean the spots from the stranger's face when she heard the sound of footsteps. Gasping sharply, she jumped up from where she was sitting down and peered through the slits in the staircase rail.

It was her landlord, Touya Mitokono, ready for his regular midnight coffee break.

Knowing that the irritable and constantly busy young man wouldn't be too happy with the mess in the landing, she tried to think quickly of a plan.

"Good evening, Touya-san!" Sakura greeted brightly, and Touya-san nearly jumped through the ceiling in surprise.

"Good morning Sakura. What would you be doing at this hour of the morning?" He sternly asked, clearly annoyed. Glancing at the clock, Sakura finally figured out the time. It was 3:48 in the morning.

"I just wanted to check if my umbrella was here or not. I think not. Perhaps I left it at the florist's sh-" The twenty-one year old girl said, but was cut off short.

Touya-san didn't look too pleased. "I wonder why you sound to sunny…"

Gulping, Sakura knew what he was talking about. The sunniest she got was when she got a good grade or a raise at work, and even then she was a cloudy day with scattered rainshowers and thunderstorms.

"No, Touya-san, I was given a promotion."

"In a florist shop?" he replied, mocking her occupation.

"Yes, from arrangements to that and cashier work."

Touya-san lifted an eyebrow and said, "Well, see now, all this has caused be to lose my caffeine-need. I guess I should thank you. Hmph, good morning then."

And so he vanished in the same way he came: sleepy.

Almost giggling in happiness and luck, Sakura almost forgot why she was downstairs at nearly four in the morning…but fortunately she didn't. She was walking back when she heard his voice call:

"Take care of yourself Sakura."

She smiled faintly. Touya-san was short-tempered, but cared a lot for her…a little like a big brother. Or was it something closer? Either way, it didn't matter to Sakura.

…………………………………………………………………………………

It was sunny…even with such a small window, the rays of light came in pouring gold. Still, the warmth wasn't overwhelming, and there was the somehow good smell of drying leaves that drifted in from the outside.

Amber eyes opened suddenly to dull pain and aching. Immediately alert, he stood quickly upright despite his stiffness…he saw bandages all over his torso and limbs, as well as parts of his face.

Also, he found that he wasn't paralyzed any longer.

Then he remembered. The flashes. Just a short moment. Then blinding pain. A bullet or two, it was hard to tell. Then falling to the ground. Paralyzed from the waist down. Blackness coming…

He was snapped from his dark recounting by a light sneeze. He found it somehow…cute.

There was a girl sitting on a computer chair, rubbing her nose and half-asleep. She had short golden-brown hair falling down in soft sweeps, and seemed no more than twenty-three: his own age.

"Oh…so you're awake." Sakura asked, not quite herself yet. She let out a large yawn, stretching her arms and legs. Steadying herself upright, she blinked tiredly.

"No point going to the university today…I'm already late…" she continued, not minding in the least. It was her day off today at th floral shop too, and she deserved a lot of rest.

"Sakura." The young man said.

Stunned, Sakura became entirely awake. "How did you know my name!"

"It says so on your ID." He replied calmly. His eyes were expressionless.

Slightly embarrassed, Sakura changed the subject. "So…what's your name?"

"My name…I've forgotten my real one." The stranger replied, casting his eyes down. Sakura felt a sharp shard of pity for him, but then he continued,

"Li."


	3. The Story of Sakura

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: I hope this chapter turns out alright. This story is so…winding that it's difficult yet exciting to write._

_I also hope that things aren't too confusing._

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter Three: The Story of Sakura**

"I was born twenty-two years ago, sometime in March or April, I think."

Sakura Kinomoto found herself saying the terrible autobiography that she had formed in her mind since that destiny-changing day. That was strange, and yet she couldn't stop the course of things. Just like she couldn't stop the course of all that was happening.

Earlier that day, Sakura remembered waking up to a sneeze. She learned his name… 'Li', he said. Li. Short and simple. She brought Li-san to a random doctor that she found in the yellow pages, and was glad that he didn't ask any questions about what had happened.

The doctor was a kind, middle-aged man. Dr. Terada was his name, and Nurse Rika. They both commended Sakura for her first-aid work, giving them prescriptions and some free bandages, as well as advice for resting and feeding. Li didn't complain at all.

Even so, Sakura wasn't too comfortable relating her hidden, shadowed tale with a complete stranger, but there was something in those intriguing and even more mysterious amber eyes that compelled her greatly.

Those same eyes were staring intently at her, listening to every syllable and watching her speak. There was a silence that surrounded him, such a loud and mystic silence that Sakura couldn't explain.

"My father, mother and elder brother were supposed to be really excited. They always wanted to have a baby girl in the family, so they were impatient. It turned out to be okay, except that my mother…" Sakura continued, then paused for a moment. "…contracted a serious, rare infection. Some kind of scientific name, but I forgot."

She sneaked a peek at her companion, and found him still staring at her from where he was sitting on the chair in front. At this point she bowed her head down in deep, faraway memories.

"My father said she was always happy, even after she got that infection. She lived with it for three years, then collapsed suddenly while she was playing with me at home…when she got to the hospital, it was too late."

She spent a few moments reliving that sunny afternoon…just her and her mother, then-

As she lifted her eyes up again, she was greeted by a brief flash of sympathy that ran across Li's face, but this was quickly reclaimed again by his indifferent expression.

"If that wasn't enough, something happened when I was seven. We were eating dinner during the evening when there was a loud crash at the door. We all ran to see what had happened, but I tripped down the stairs in my hurry…the last things I saw of my father and brother were their feet going down the steps."

Li was caught by Sakura bearing a peculiar look on his face…a mix of emotions like pity, anger, dullness and interest. This made Sakura go on when she hated the story the most.

"There was a bright silver light that made me see who was at the door…a small shadow that I couldn't see the face of. Then I heard my father's voice crying out, then my brother calling out my name before yelling in pain as well."

At this point Li's blank face flooded with a wave of feelings. His warm-colored eyes had widened quite a lot and his mouth was half-open to breathe in more air - his hands had gone straight to his head in the sign of a migraine, and he stumbled off the chair.

"Li-san!" Sakura called, worried. Rushing to catch him before he fell, she checked his bandages and saw that they were bleeding. "Are you alright? What hurts? Does anything hurt?"

Li's lips closed…his eyelids fell heavily, and all that could be heard was his sharp breaths. "Yes" Was his straight to the point, no explanations answer.

Sighing deeply, Sakura carried him to the bed with ease: he was still as weightless as a child. Checking the white cloths for any red stains and finding none, she settled in the same chair she slept in the night before and took to watching over her new roommate.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Touya clenched his teeth in frustration. Who was that 'Li' person that Sakura was talking about?

Sighing, he ignored whatever his peculiar tenant was up to and went back to work: counting revenue, accounting for bills, doing his rounds, burning the bills, and overall not doing too much. His next part-time job was tomorrow.

"Strange little Sakura…"

…………………………………………………………

Everything was a great, pain-bringing blur. There was nothing he could remember too clearly at this point, but whatever it he was certain it was important. Very important.

For the second time in the day, he awoke to the sight of his 'savior' of sorts - but this time, she was wide awake, the expression on her face betraying concern and alertness.

Then suddenly all his senses came flooding back. There was the striking suddenness of his injuries coming back to feeling, a terrible headache, the freezing temperature of an ice-pack and…something else.

A horrible, unimaginable knowing. A forbidden awareness.

Most people called it Guilt.

"Are you awake, Li-san?"

_That voice. So familiar. Sakura-san._

"I guess you are. You better just lie down then." Sakura told him, once again assuming the authoritative air that had enough indifference to be unreadable - and sometimes, unbearable.

"Kinomoto-san, if" Li began to say, but was cut abruptly off. "No, you really must rest. Your wound has gotten a bit worse than before, so I'd suggest to don't move too much."

At this point the clock struck half-past-twelve. "It's lunch time. Would you like to eat anything?"

Even if Li might have appreciated a good meal, what he had found out about that girl was sickening. He felt a deep, hollow sense of pity for her, yet was amazed at how she could have survived such ordeals.

"No." He replied.

Slightly annoyed at the impolite response, Sakura just clenched her teeth and exited her unit. She was thankful that Touya-san was kind enough to be willing to share his meals with the tenants, and was relieved that she wouldn't have to request for another set of food anyway.

…………………………………………………………

"Looks like it's only the two of us then." Touya Mitokono said, eyeing her as she descended from the final step of the staircase. "Yes, it seems like it is so." Sakura answered, retaining her infamous monotone.

Shrugging at her irritating formality, Touya simply brought out a few dishes, put back a number inside the general refrigerator, and returned all the other water glasses to the counter. He was a very careful man.

"Are you sure it'll be only the two of us?" He dared to ask, still suspicious of Sakura's unusual self-talk in her apartment. As far as Touya was concerned, Sakura never spoke to herself, even at home.

Tensing a little bit, she shook her head. "All the other tenants are out."

Touya began to nibble at his rice bowl, but while doing so kept a scrutinizing eye on Sakura. She didn't notice.

She didn't even want to eat lunch, yet she forced herself to partake in the food. Despite the calling aroma, the otherwise wonderful smell gave her a wave of nausea. The sauce in the meat resembled blood.

After finally getting through her white rice and vegetables, she excused herself from the table. Raising an eyebrow, her landlord asked, "Aren't you hungry still? You just took a small bowl and a few fried vegetables."

Shaking her head, she said her respects before disappearing up the stairs.

Brushing his hair with his hands in frustration, Touya took a deep breath before going on with his meal with a few more furrows on his forehead.

…………………………………………………………

Opening the swinging door very carefully, she peered into the room. Her 'guest' was asleep: she would have to take extra care not to wake him, or cause him any more stress.

Closing the door behind her, she took effort to make her steps light and soft. The ice-pack that she put on Li had melted a little, and so it fell on the floor beside the bed.

Putting the ice-pack to the side, she reclined again on her chair. Watching him, she felt a little peace…she almost forgot all the complications that brought her to this.

Sakura was already half-asleep when a sharp rapping came at the door. Groaning in irritation, she stood up quickly and rushed to answer the knock. Casting a glance at Li, she was glad he didn't wake up.

"Sakura-sama…" Touya-san mocked in a strange, low voice, increasing the volume his knocks, "I brought your room service for you."

Gulping deeply, she hastily draped a blanket over Li's sleeping figure, covering him up with pillows as mufflers. Satisfied with her makeshift work, she hurriedly received the man.

Touya Mitokono certainly didn't look normal with a bright smile on his normally annoyed face. His features were too cheerful to be normal. Sakura herself thought that she was imagining.

"Sakura-sama, I thought you'd like your lunch served in your room, so I brought it up here. Enjoy your meal!" Continued the unusually high-spirited bachelor, grinning even wider.

The tray was something Sakura had never seen. It was a porcelain piece, certainly not a crafted fake. The plates were antique china, and what was on the plates was even more astonishing.

Croquettes and pastries. Served with side cherry garnish and dragon tea.

Hearing a pained moan from under the sheets, Sakura put on her own Act II. "Why, thank you Touya-san." The twenty-two year old girl said, taking the loaded tray. "I appreciate it, my teddy bear is sick and his favorite foods are pastries. See you later."

Before he could even question the sudden sound (or the part about ailing stuffed toys), the door -_his door-_ was slammed in the landlord's face. The pleasant, hotel-servant-like mask fell off, revealing a greatly irritated expression. "Whatever that was, Sakura-sama," Touya whispered to himself as he descended the stairs, "I'll find out sooner or later."

…………………………………………………………

Letting out a long exhalation, she ran to the bed to remove all the heavy stuff from Li. Sakura had forgotten that it was enough to suffocate anyone, especially a sleeping, wounded person.

As she flung off the last sheet she was immediately relieved. Certainly enough, Li had been roused from his sleep none-too-gently, and his eyes were still half open, but he was fine enough.

Still, Sakura knew that appearances could be deceiving. "Are you alright?" she inquired, overlooking the fact that her shroud of unconcern was not placed back on.

"Yes." Li always had such a simple way of speaking, one would have wondered if he talked in simple syllables alone.

Sakura sighed, unfolding a table that she tucked under the bed, and setting the tray of food unto it. She still wasn't hungry, even with the tantalizing whiffs of baked goods, but Sakura was sure that Li would like some.

Nudging the table close to him without a word, she resettled herself at the foot of the bed, finding the chair a little too inadequate for the time being.

She sat, and waited. There was no movement or response from the mysterious stranger, Li. He remained as still as a statue, looking up to the ceiling with an extremely blank expression. Sakura tried to be patient, but the deafening silence was too much.

"Go ahead and eat if you want."

Seconds passed. Minutes passed.

Sakura was on the verge of giving up when she felt a sudden dip in the weight of the bed. Li sat upright, moved close enough to the edge of the mattress, and picked up a croquette. He ate in tiny nibbles, taking only miniscule sips of the tea.

Despite these, Sakura was content. They had survived their first day undiscovered…but there were more close calls to come, and more surprises in store.

"I was alone ever since. No one took care of me. I took care of myself." Sakura murmured to him as he lay back down. Thus she concluded her story.


	4. The Discovery

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: Very sorry for the long lack of updates…anyway, it seems like people aren't too interested in the story. Oh well, I'll see how things go. Lights, camera…action!_

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter Four: The Discovery**

"SAKURA!"

Uh oh. What a wonderful way to start the day…

"Sakura! What's the racket up there!"

5:46 AM. For Touya-san, it's late morning - but for Sakura (and the rest of the normal population) it's incredibly, _too_ early.

Groaning deeply, the auburn-haired girl tried to jump out of bed, but found herself unsuccessful. Instead, she resorting to plain old replying back. "I just hit my head on my table, Touya-san! Sorry!" She said, putting in a sincere tone. There was no further reply from downstairs, so she collapsed back into the bed.

Looking around the room to see what had caused the racket, she squinted in the dim light. There was barely any sunlight outside the small window, and it was difficult to see more than a meter from her face.

After feeling around for a few minutes, she finally found what she was looking for: something on the floor.

Or rather, someone.

"Li-san," Sakura whispered, attempting to lift him from the floor, "please wake up." She was getting to rolling him across the floor, until she was interrupted. "I never fell asleep," said Li.

Eyes widening slightly in surprise, she nudged him up onto the bed. As he settled back into the covers, it was quite clear that he was telling the truth. Dark rings had formed on his face, and his eyes were slightly red.

Checking the clock once more, Sakura realized that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again; not with Mitokono-_sama_ (mock mock mock) lurking around, ready to pounce at every single little sound…

"You're frowning too much."

"Ah! Ah, what?"

"You're frowning too much."

"Oh…okay…"

Sakura's heartbeat was speeding, surprised from the sudden comment. Things then quieted down again…until…

"Excuse me," Mitokono-_sama_'s voice came through the door, "Sakura-san, I have some homemade porridge you might want to have. I'll be glad if you took it…"

Gulping, Sakura quickly tossed the blankets onto Li-san without even a warning and bolted to the door. Faking a smile, she turned the doorknob, only to find that…

"Good morning!" Touya-san shouted, yelling at the top of his lungs…dressed up in a pink frilly apron and…a maid's hat…as well as a sunflower headband…with a silver tray in his hands.

"Uh, Touya-san?" Sakura stuttered, unsure of what to do. The last time she saw him wearing that…well, he never wore that, really.

Li remained silent, buried and nearly suffocating under the pile of blankets - but he didn't make a sound.

There were two…TWO plates on that tray.

What could this mean?

"Are you alright Touya-san?"

"Of course I am, _darling_. Now, call your friend for breakfast." _I'm on to you Kinomoto._

Sakura swallowed hard. _How did he know?_

"Oh, right, my friend…my imaginary friend Tomoyo, right? Alright, thank you very much Touya-kun!" Sakura didn't catch herself - Tomoyo was her best friend from so long ago that she sometimes thought it was another life.

Touya-san blinked. Maybe Sakura wasn't really keeping someone secret from him, and was really that insane…insane enough to jump from Touya-san to Touya-kun.

_Only Yukito calls me Touya-kun._

But was it really possible that she was just tootsy, and not hiding some one from him?

"Well, _darling," _Touya-san attempted to say cheerily, "tell your friend that she's-"

"He's."

"Tell your friend that he's always welcome."

Sakura faked a wide smile. "Did you hear that Tomoyo?" she said brightly, looking at the air as if someone was there. "Touya-kun is always so nice, isn't he?"

Touya-san blinked some more, bewildered. In his shock, he couldn't do more than march downstairs in a robotic manner.

"That was close." A voice came from the covers.

Sakura's eyes widened. _Li-san! It must have been impossible to breathe down there!_ But she didn't have to worry - soon he tossed off the ridiculous heap of blankets and pillows and stood upright. Somewhere outside, she thought she heard Touya-san trip and fall.

Then came the real surprise.

A faint smile - almost a silent laugh - had formed on Li's usually stoic face.

"Li-san…"

…………………………………………………………

Later that day, after Touya-san had gone out to one of his many unusual jobs, Sakura took the liberty of going into the kitchen, and dragging Li along with her to help.

"You're going to have to help me in exchange for everything Li-san," Sakura said good-naturedly, smiling in a friendly manner. It seemed like things were much different now, even though it hadn't been a long time.

He simply nodded.

When he found out Sakura's clumsiness with a spatula, he quickly took advantage of her klutzy fingers and snatched the instrument from her. Startled, Sakura didn't do much but watch as he tossed up a meal for lunch in a record seven minutes.

Astonished, Sakura just let him set the dining table and serve the food. All she could do was sit down - it reminded her of one of the little memories she had of her father.

Over lunch, she tried to bring up some kind of comfortable conversation. She wanted to know more about Li, but didn't ask, feeling that she didn't know him enough. In some awkward way, it felt like…a date. Minus the roses and the candle light of course.

It didn't take long for the both of them to finish up their lunch, as no words whatsoever were exchanged. As swiftly as he had set the table, Li cleaned it all up.

_Talk about a perfect wife,_ Sakura thought.

"What now?" Li asked in his normal, dull monotone.

Sakura was still thinking when she heard the bolt of the gate outside wiggle. Gasping, she grabbed Li's thin hand and dashed up the stairs, nearly tripping in the process.

"It's Touya-san!"

"Touya-kun…" Li murmured under his breath.

Leaving Li inside her room and locking it behind her, she ran down the stairs just in time to see the door to the kitchen open. She had about two seconds to catch her breath, then Touya-san came inside.

At her slightly disheveled appearance he raised an eyebrow. "Did you participate in the Olympics today, _darling?_" he mocked in a sarcastic, high-pitched tone. "Or are you playing tag with your imaginary friend Tomoyo?"

Sakura somehow managed to keep the annoyed look from crossing her face. "As a matter of fact, I am. Would you like to join us?" She inquired, jumping up and down enthusiastically.

"No thanks…" Touya-san muttered, before climbing the stairs to his own floor of the apartment building. "I'll be here for just a short time - in about half an hour I'll leave again. It's 12:45 now so…I'll be back about 8:00. Watch over the apartment."

Sakura heaved a sigh of relief - taking care of the place wasn't as much trouble as hiding her newfound stranger from him when he was around.

"Alright, Touya-san."

He stopped climbing the stairs and looked at her from his shoulder. "I thought you would call me Touya-kun." Without waiting for a reply, he climbed the rest of the stairs and disappeared into his room.

She waited five more minutes for safety, then did the same, entering her own apartment room. Her unit wasn't as great as the kitchen even, but it felt a lot more safe behind a locked, private door.

"What happened?" Li asked, toying around with his strangely shiny hair. It had become fine after the long bath he had the day before - a life on the streets had covered it with dullness.

"Nothing much, thank goodness…" Sakura said, then informed him about Touya-san's instructions. He didn't seem to be too interested in what she was saying, but she continued to speak anyway.

…………………………………………………………

Forty-nine rounds of chess later, 5:36 PM, Sakura geared herself for one more game. Out of the rounds they had already played, she won 12. Li was certainly smug under his blanket of indifference.

Twenty-six turns later, Li announced, "Checkmate."

Sakura slumped. Oh well.

She looked at her watch, and seeing that it was getting close to six, she got her coat. "I'll be right back, I just need to drop by at this quick seminar. I'll be back at around 7:30, and Touya-san wouldn't be home until 8:00 at the earliest. See you."

Li didn't appear to mind as she left the room (locking it of course), leaving an emptiness even in the cramped space. There was nothing he could do but fall into silence again.

…………………………………………………………

7:46 PM. Li was immediately alert as he recognized the racket as knocking. He jumped up quickly, already expecting Sakura to be at the door. Opening it, he simply turned back and sat back into his chair.

"I wonder who you are."

The familiar but non-Sakura voice made Li open his still-sleepy eyes wide. For the first time during his stay with Sakura, he had a good look at 'Touya-kun' - the land lord.

And he was struck. Extremely shocked, so much that he struggled to keep his jaw from dropping.

"Sakura-san's boy friend? Ah, finally…" he commented, walking carefully towards him, seeming to study him from different angles. "You're a pretty boy…how'd you meet Sakura-san--"

"Li. She met me a few nights ago." Li made no attempt to deny Touya-san's remarks.

Touya-san smiled. "Just like Sakura-san to randomly pick someone. Well, I can't blame her, it's not as if you're hideous. I guess she has some taste after all."

As if nothing had happened, he walked out the door. At that same moment, the same wiggling of the bolt on the gate resounded. "There's your girl friend. Let me go meet her."

…………………………………………………………

Sakura quickly let herself in, chilling from the biting cold outside. It had been a tad bit cold than she had expected, and the seminar ended ten minutes late. Luckily there was no problem on the way home besides the cold, and-

"Good evening, _darling._"

Sakura backed up a few steps before realizing whose voice that was. If it wasn't for the situation, she might have been relieved, but not now.

"Touya-san…" Sakura said, shaking on every syllable. "What a pleasant surprise, you're home ea-"

"I met your boy friend a while ago. Hmm, and just when I thought that 'Touya-kun' meant something special…"

Sakura's mind went blank. _Her boyfriend? That could only mean…_

"My boy friend?" Sakura tried, a pathetic last resort.

"Don't play idiot with me, Sakura."

At that moment, Sakura knew completely that she had lost her battle with Mitokono Touya. It was going to be a painfully long night…

…………………………………………………………

"So…you're really not her boy friend?" Touya-san mused, drinking his tea casually, as if this kind of thing happened every other day.

"No." Was the simple answer.

"Hmm…I never thought about it, Sakura Kinomoto the Good Samaritan. You were never this kind to me Sakura-san…" Touya-san said, nudging her in the side.

Sakura was too tired to fire back her an insult. "Hmm…too bad…"

Touya-san laughed good-heartedly, taking another sip of his tea. Fortunately for Sakura (and more importantly Li), Touya-san didn't take it too hard. He didn't explode like Sakura thought he would do, and took it quite jokingly.

"I'll have to make breakfast for three tomorrow then…one for Li-san, one for Sakura-san, and one for her friend, Tomoyo-san…right?" Touya-san pushed.

"Well…" Sakura started to say, but was interrupted by a hard thump on the floor. She looked around her to see what had caused the hollow thud, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Li kneeling on the floor beside an unconscious Touya-san.

"Touya-san!" she yelled, rushing to the telephone to call the hospital.

…………………………………………………………

The day after the ambulance had come and brought the young man to the hospital, Sakura decided that it would be proper to visit him. She had no idea why on earth he collapsed like that, but she guessed it was plain fatigue. Working many different short jobs was harder that working on a permanent one.

On the way they picked up some flowers from the florist, then headed to room 308.

Inside, Touya-san looked like he was at a hotel. He didn't look too sick, and there were countless balloons and flowers on his table - surprisingly, all from the nurses. There was a large stack of letters on the other table.

Sakura went in first after Li said he needed to use the restroom. "How are you feeling Touya-san?"

The mask of plainness dropped. "Sakura-san…it's very strange, and unexplainable. You see…I started having strange images appear randomly a few weeks ago. It just went on and on, more and more, and it's as if…it was my past. As for you, I see-"

But he was cut off by his door swinging open. Li entered silently, his face looking down at the floor as if it was some kind of treasure. As he looked up to face Touya-san, the landlord turned pale.

"Touya-san!" But it was no use. He had fainted again.


	5. The Rediscovery

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: Heh, two updates in a week. I hope that will compensate for the long wait during the holidays! A big 'Thank you' to my beta-reader, Walking Green Cucumber for everything! _

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter Five: The Rediscovery**

…………………………………………………………

Touya-san, who usually looked so sturdy and tall, seemed small, frail and weak in the interior of the mint-green and white hospital set-up. The sunflowers on his desk didn't fit in too well, and the multi-colored balloons were deflating the moment they arrived.

It was the very first time that Sakura felt any real pity for Touya-san: she had been sort of concerned in the past, but not involved as she did now.

The past days had been fast: it was a week out of the ordinary.

Just four days ago, she had been returning from her measly job at the florist shop, and happened to come upon this man on the street. That same filthy street rat was now sitting beside her now, appearing to be more like her cousin in the clothes that Touya-san had lent him the night that they met.

Then she had spent three days keeping him from her landlord's ever watchful eye and alert senses, only to be foiled in a cleverly simple plan the night before.

And that same night, in the early hours of the morning, he collapsed, and an ambulance whisked all three of them to the nearest hospital.

Just before dawn, he awoke for a brief moment, trying to explain, only to faint once more for some unknown reason.

Now, in the afternoon, she was still waiting for him to wake up. She saw in his eyes the urgency of whatever he was going to tell her - it was between life and death.

She hadn't gotten any sleep in the past day, and neither had Li. The normally silent man had been even more so today, because he didn't reply to any question or statement. He acted as if the floor tiles were the most interesting thing in the world.

Earlier that morning, she had transferred from sitting beside him to sitting on the couch opposite him. When she asked him if he was hungry, he just shrugged.

Giving up once more on her companion, Sakura once more turned her eyes to the hospital bed. Against the harsh lighting of fluorescent bulbs and the dim starkness of the clouded sky between the window curtains and blinds, everything seemed too different.

Sakura was skipping two classes for college today - it wouldn't matter, it was almost the end of her year anyway.

2:54 PM. Sakura yawned, feeling her eyes drooping and her eyelids dropping again. Finally giving up herself, she crawled up on the sofa and quickly drifted off to sleep.

…………………………………………………………

Li knew time was running out. Touya-san's second loss of consciousness had bought him some time, but he wouldn't remain in that state forever.

Looking at his borrowed shoes, he wondered what to do.

_What can I do?_

In his deep thinking he didn't notice that Sakura had fallen asleep on the other sofa. Brushing the messed bangs from his forehead, he returned to his thinking stance.

_Can I say it at this point? Will it do any good?_

Rubbing his head in frustration, he turned for guidance to the bathroom mirror. Carefully standing up as to not make so much noise, he walked to the door leading to the restroom quietly, with practiced ease.

As he faced himself in the mirror, he remembered something from long, long ago.

'_You'll be a handsome young man someday, Syaoran. I can't wait till the day that my pretty little boy will finally grow up.'_

Suddenly attacked by a migraine, he settled to sit on the toilet bowl with the lid closed. Massaging the pain away, he realized that his mother's wish would never be fulfilled.

_Because she's dead._

As he returned to the main room, he had one last glance at himself in the reflective glass. _'A handsome young man for sure, and you'll meet your lovely match one day…'_

He bowed his head, covering his face with his hair so that it was no longer visible in the mirror. _It would never happen._

…………………………………………………………

Sakura woke up to silence. It was perfect silence. The raindrops were completely quiet, and the airconditioning made no sound.

Her first thought was Touya-san. He was there, thankfully less pale than before though he was shades lighter than he was supposed to be. But then she sensed an emptiness. Looking straight ahead, she noticed that the sofa where Li was sitting on was empty.

Sitting upright almost instantly, she checked the bathroom and the hallway outside the room. Trying to calm herself down, she half-heartedly persuaded herself that he had just gone out for some air.

Forcing herself back down on the couch, she busied herself with attaching and reattaching her watch. The glowing digits read 7:43 PM.

…………………………………………………………

There was a knocking sound from the door. Sakura felt her neck creak, and realized that she must have fallen asleep again. Pushing herself up from her lazy position, she ran to the door. _It must be Li!_

"Good evening, this is Mitokono Touya-san's meal."

Her spirits went low, and she snatched a peek at her watch while the nurse set up the table. It was 9:01 PM. _That's a one hour and a half walk!_

…………………………………………………………

As the drops of water fell heavily on his face, he wondered if this was the right path to take. From the very beginning he didn't feel very comfortable taking advantage of 'charity', but once he realized this important fact on that second day - he knew it was trouble coming.

To think that he was only brave enough to return to the streets at this point.

Already soaked to the bone, he thought of what Sakura would do once she found out he was gone. He wished that she would sleep for a little bit longer, enough for him to disappear far enough - but even that wouldn't last forever.

The real problem was Touya-san. Was it really…

Li shrugged the idea off. It was impossible. He lost his memory a long time ago, it wasn't a big probability that he would recover it now. Still, the young man decided not to risk his chances, and planned his next step to leave the city.

In all the improvements in the past few days, Li had forgotten one not-quite-little problem.

…………………………………………………………

The rain stung her eyes and skin, and the short-sleeved blouse she was wearing wasn't helping to block out the cold at all. Blinking through the water in her eyes, she tried to spot Li among a hundred strangers hurrying home through the downpour. She was unsuccessful.

At this point it was impossible to find one man in a large city such as this one. Sakura unwillingly turned back to the hospital, hoping she could have some towels from the staff.

But as she entered the doors of the building, there was the attending nurse who rushed immediately to her. "You're the relative of Mitokono Touya-san?" She nodded quickly, and in a blink the nurse was dragging her by the hand up the stairs to his room.

…………………………………………………………

Shit.

He ran, and ran, and ran, shocked at what was taking place.

'_You have such a different, unique face Syaoran…it can stand out. You got that from your father…but your hair is definitely my father's…'_

His mother's words resounded in his head, an unlikely and unhelpful mantra that kept on repeating himself. It was distracting and useless to have a saddening quote in your head when a patrol car was chasing you.

Ducking underneath a large, shady tree, he silently hoped that their spotlight wouldn't hit them. As if by magic, the lights suddenly turned to another position the second before it lit his spot.

Sighing in momentary relief, he tried to think clearly.

'_Haha, you look so different in that, Syaoran.'_

He stomped his foot in protest. _Why pick a time such as this to revive yourself in my mind, Mother?_

'_I couldn't recognize you with such a large hat on your head…'_

Brilliant.

Quietly thanking his mother who had given him assistance from beyond the grave, he looked on the pavement to find some kind of covering. Finding an old discarded cap, he covered his eyes and made his way to the only place safe:

- the hospital.

They were all clueless there.

…………………………………………………………

"Sakura-san…" Touya-san said, even paler than he was in the first place. "Where is…he?"

"Li? He disappeared somehow."

"He is no ordinary man…I'm not quite sure Sakura-san, but he's not regular…"

Sakura looked at him curiously. Was this an affect of his sickness?

"Sakura-san…" Touya-san said, staring her straight in the eye. His breathing was labored, and he didn't seem like he was feeling very well. He was shaking from sitting upright for so long, and had to fall back unto the bed.

"Sakura-san…"

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you this secret of mine."

Startled, Sakura blinked a few times before showing that she was ready to listen. What kind of secret would possibly connect to her?

"I don't know who I am."

Sakura gasped involuntarily, confused. "What do you mean you don't know who you are, Touya-san?"

"In truth…I lost my memory a long time ago, maybe about fifteen or so years ago. I'm not sure why either, so I'm not sure how old I am…but what I'm sure is that…"

He seemed lost at that point, and his eyes told Sakura that he wasn't sure of what to say - if he was going to say it at all.

"I'm sure we're related."

Blankness.

Sakura's blankness.

'We're related.'

What does that mean?

Does it mean anything?

Blankness.

No meaning.

Then meaning.

"What?" Sakura yelled, her eyes wide with shocked. Had Touya-san gone insane? She looked at him as if he was, asking if this was some kind of sarcastic joke. But his eyes said no.

"Impossible…I lost my father and my brother years ago…"

"Fifteen years ago?"

And so Sakura was speechless.

…………………………………………………………

At that moment, the hospital door threw open, revealing someone very familiar.

Li.

"Li-san!" Sakura shouted, and for a few seconds she completely forgot the surprising revelation she had encountered only a minute ago. She was about to rush to him, until Touya-san interrupted.

"Sakura-san, no!"

"Touya-san?"

_Oh no…has he found out?_

_The glint in his eyes says so…_

"That man…that man is a murderer."

_And so he has…this is the end of me…_


	6. The Eventuality

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: Eep. Whoops, got carried away with the lack of updates there… Still, please review. It keeps me going…99 perspiration…need a bit more inspiration for the next chapter's birth._

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter Six: The Eventuality **

_And that is the end of everything._

"A murderer?" Sakura asked, dazed and unsure, "what do you mean Li is a murderer?" 'Surely he couldn't be. Touya-san must be more ill than we thought…'

"As sure as I am that we are of the same family."

_Strike two, Syaoran. Not looking good here. _

Sakura recoiled, shocked. "I can't even seem to believe you in that."

_Ah, Sakura….if only you knew…_

As Li continued to think, he remained silent, aware of the sharp gaze that Touya had set on him. His spine chilled involuntarily, surely noticed by the other man.

"You're not even sure of who you are, Touya-san!" Sakura yelled at him, and a split second after there was the sound of glass breaking just outside their door. "You must be very sick!"

A change occurred in the landlord that was unreadable by anyone but Li. And even Li himself only saw it once before - a long, long time ago.

"Are you that sure of who you are, Kinomoto Sakura?"

That cold tone froze both Sakura and Li to the floor, unable to speak back or refocus their gazes.

Suddenly, the door burst open for the second time that night.

"What's going on here? This is a hospital, not a debate house!" Said a wizened, short woman dressed in nurse's clothes. No one paid much attention to her reprimand after Touya's words.

After a few seconds of heated silence, Sakura couldn't take it anymore. There were three very devastating actualities.

Mitokono Touya had to be insane. Her landlord had mental deficiencies all along, or was injured enough to develop such in one evening.

That stranger she picked up a few days ago, Li, was in truth a cold-blooded murderer who was somehow connected to aforementioned landlord.

Kinomoto Sakura - AKA herself, was very much insane.

So she just had to explode at one point or another.

"Excuse me, Miss, but I believe my friend" She said, pointing to Touya, "is having a bit of a problem. He collapsed last night and could be-"

"Sakura-san," Touya-san snapped, but never took his eyes off Li, "stop this nonsense at once."

As if by magic, the nurse nodded in understanding, whispered a few things to Sakura, then started to call more nurses into the room.

_What's this about? Is everybody except for me telepathic?_

Before anyone could protest, Touya was being wheeled out of the room faster that a bicycle down the hill.

"We will have to take him to one of the laboratories for a short psychological test. It appears his accident might have affected him somehow." One of the senior nurses informed them, looking calm as if this was a routine activity.

As the group of white sped down the winding corridor, Touya kept on shouting, "Sakura-san, he's a murderer!" and "Believe me!"

_This was something I never expected before._

Just as those thoughts were going through Li's mind, the door slammed in his face. He was too stunned to move.

…………………………………………………………

As Sakura walked quickly through the fluorescent-lit pathways of the hospital, a million thoughts were jumbling through her mind as if they were in the Olympics. Some were swimming, others dancing, another was leaping and all of them were racing.

'Li-san? A murderer? Seems impossible…it would seem as if his parents were the ones that were murdered, the way he keeps quiet.'

'But Touya-san never lied to me before. Except when he found out about Li. And even then, it was for a good reason. He would never say such a horrible thing…would he? Unless he was really messed up by that fall he took.'

'I hope he's doing alright. I wouldn't want to visit someone at the psychiatric ward at all. Unless I'm the one who is insane, and I'll have to crave for visitors to come…'

She shook her head in frustration. It was important that she cleared her mind of those ambitious atheletes.

But when she finally did, a haunting memory came back to curse her. At that point, she wished the annoying thoughts were still there.

The crash of plates. The bang of a door.

So many facts.

The yell of a man. The time-shattering shot.

So many mysteries.

The blood on the floor. The cooling bodies.

So many memories.

That was in the past. Then in the present:

The strike of the tiles. The scream of passers-by.

So many to come.

…………………………………………………………

And once again, Li found himself looking at the mirror.

He didn't know what anyone saw in him. His mother told him things that made his heart swell with this strange, wonderful feeling. Those things were praises - little acts of kindness that eventually nailed the portrait of his mother to his mind.

Then his father. The silhouette on the doorstep every night, who waited for his only son to rush to him after a difficult day's work at the company. The wise figure who told him things that a philosopher would crave for. Simple, but life-guiding ideas.

'_When the path seems unclear, remain unclear.'_

Now he didn't get those quotes.

'_Let pass what is passing. There is no such thing as 'the eventuality'._

Now, Li Syaoran knew that his father was no more than a foolish smart-guy. The eventuality had already come - he could sense it coming faster and faster by the second.

He was correct.

…………………………………………………………

A knock came at the door. Li hurried to answer it, hoping to everything that it was Sakura.

He saw a cart full of needles and bottles passing by. Nothing more.

But then-

"Li-san…help me. I accidentally hit my head on glass a moment ago, get the first aid kit. It's around here somewhere."

He nodded, trying to keep his indifference on his features, but as he turned his back to her he let everything drop. Concern took over his expression.

Then suddenly-

…………………………………………………………

"Sakura-san-"

Emptiness. The hospital room was completely empty.

"Sakura-san?"

Oh no.

Touya slapped himself in reflex. He realized just a few hours before all the mistakes that he'd made - and he just made one of the worst of all.

They could be anywhere. Anywhere in the large, dark city.

Sakura - his little sister - she could be anywhere.

And she could be dead.

…………………………………………………………

There was red all over his hands.

Dripping unto the pristine, tiles - red.

That life-giving liquid - that death-bringing fluid.

They called it blood.

And now, it dripped all over his hands.

"Hurry, get her to the emergency room!"

Voices all around him.

"What happened anyway?"

Unknown people, swirling.

"She was stabbed by a knife. We're not sure how."

Situations, situations.

His mother was dying again.

"ID says - Kinomoto Sakura, unmarried, 23 years old--"

No, not his mother.

Sakura.

…………………………………………………………

The green line went up--

The green line went down--

The green line paused.

The green line went up--

The green line went down--

The green line paused.

"_That's the cycle of karma, Syaoran," _Said a ghostly voice, _"What comes up must come down. But it's much more complicated than that. You'll understand it when you get older."_

Did he, really?

The green line went up--

The green line went down--

Up.

Down.

Pause.

And then it went to the right.

In a straight line.

What did that mean again?

…………………………………………………………

"How is Sakura-san?" Said a breathless voice, from a whited face.

"You're related?" Asked the nurse in charge.

"Yes. I'm her elder brother." The words tasted alien and forbidden on his tongue.

The nurse let him in simply because of the expression he wore. It was pure concern, but tainted with some unknown, probably dark thoughts.

The man bolted into the room. The green line was going right beyond the speed limit of the highway.

And beside the green line was _him._

The murderer.

…………………………………………………………

Touya was able to make it out of the psychological laboratory, but he landed into an even more difficult situation.

"Sakura!" He yelled, not minding the said criminal at the moment. "Nurse, quickly!"

Like a bolt, one of the people on duty rushed into the room, and immediately saw the indicator. And then a familiar situation unfolded in Li's eyes from 15 years ago.

_Hurry, check her pulse._

_Still dead. All clear!_

_Change the settings. _

_We're running out of time._

_Get the contact details. Inform the other relatives._

_There are none. Just that brat there._

But this time it was different.

…………………………………………………………

Sakura was very, very confused.

She felt that she was probably insane.

First, she was running down the hall. Trying to clear her mind.

Then the glass. Shattering, breaking. Hitting her hand.

A woman apologized, but she hid her injury, smiling as pleasantly as possible. Then she raced back to the hospital room.

Knocking on the door, she waited for what seemed like a minute. Then the door opened to the figure of Li. He looked different - hurt somehow, like a child, but the watery appearance of his eyes was probably a trick of the light.

Asking for a first-aid kit, she waited for him to come back. But before anything could happen-

It happened.

…………………………………………………………

There was so little time.

He had to escape soon.

Very soon. Or else. Everything would crumble into pieces. All his effort.

Mother's effort.

Father's effort.

My effort.

Sakura's effort.

"You're alive, Syaoran Li." he said to himself. "Live!"

And so he ran outside the door.


	7. The Eventuality Continues

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: It's all so fast._

_But it's far from done, my friends._

_Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of the manga-ka CLAMP and companies related to it. Only the plot and story is my intellectual product._

**Chapter Seven: The Eventuality Continues **

"What do you mean he's gone?"

"He's gone, sir."

"Gone? He left the building? And you allowed him to?"

"Sir, there was no such instruction to-"

Touya stopped himself. He might end up in Psycho faster than he wanted. "No, I'm sorry. He's my responsibility."

With no further politeness, the sour-faced nurse stomped down the hall, entering and exiting each hospital room and leaving a screaming patient behind. Collecting blood as if collecting taxes.

Touya faced the reality. That person was not here. Sakura was in dire condition. He couldn't let that boy take away all he had left! To think - he only found what he had lost today, only to have her snatched away by Death.

How many more people did he kill?

The block-like text of a certain day's newspaper called out to him, wishing to be resurfaced. But it was like looking through a distorted glass wall. There was something there, but it was unreachable until one found the door.

"I won't let my younger sister die. Not after I almost did, and Father left."

…………………………………………………………

He was sure that every hotel had his name listed on their blacklist.

While Li was definitely a common name, Syaoran - or Xiao Lang - was a unique identifier. It had a certain musical ring to it, somehow.

It was a curse.

But he definitely couldn't go back to the hospital and face them…especially because Touya was piecing each detail together like a giant puzzle.

And boy, was he good at puzzle-making.

It was a choice he had to make.

For himself.

For those efforts.

For all that he did.

For all that he didn't do.

…………………………………………………………

"Sakura, can you hear me?" Touya asked wishfully, hoping even the slightest response would come from the motionless girl.

There was nothing to say that she was alive except for the struggling pulse on her one undamaged wrist.

On the other wrist was a fresh bandage that was already starting to get stained. With that sight, Touya promised another punch in store for that brat. So many kicks. More punches. Then he would turn him over to the police, before he lost control and killed him himself.

"Sakura?"

There was nothing.

…………………………………………………………

The rain had not relented yet. The drops angrily attacked Li's shoulders, as if they knew every hidden and wanted to punish him for all his foolishness. The shadow of What Might Have Happened still covered him like a safety blanket.

He decided quickly. It was fair enough.

After 15 years of being pushed around and pushing people around - it was going to continue.

He looked at the street sign and tried to find his sense of direction. Somewhere in the distance, an ambulance started to blare. It went to the east, increasing speed as it did.

Li Syaoran hastily followed, going as fast as he could in the puddle-dotted sidewalk.

…………………………………………………………

As he tried speaking to Sakura again, there was a gentle knock on the door.

Standing up heavily to open it, he struggled to support himself upon his weakened legs. He was used to the youthful vitality that surrounded him, and the sensation felt odd and unexpected.

What he really didn't expect was who was at the door.

"Touya-san. I'm here to explain everything."

…………………………………………………………

Before he could explain anything, Touya was already calling for assistance. He was being dragged to a familiar place - nonetheless, it was someplace he really didn't want to go into.

The psychiatric ward.

All those months of screaming and yelling, pounding at the door for some hint of freedom - all inside those horribly cheerful yellow walls. As if they were welcoming him into hell.

And it was three months of hell.

He had been severely traumatized by the past events. All that they saw was a scared little boy suffering from a number of disorders. The investigation took two and a half months to complete, and still-

It led to nothing but trouble.

…………………………………………………………

"Too late, Li Syaoran. I know your full name now." Touya said, vowing vengeance on the man. He was nothing but a man with evil in his heart, abusing the kindness of someone he made an orphan a long time ago.

"It's not going to be long, now."

…………………………………………………………

They recited his full list of disorders.

One.

Two.

Three.

Possibly four.

Five.

Maybe six.

Then a number of mild ones.

He didn't really care. What scarred him was a fact that hit him very, very late.

When Touya-san opened the door for him, he knew the door was the one of Kinomoto Sakura's hospital room. But she looked so fragile - like Touya did before his burst of passion - like she would break when a particle of dust would land.

But the green line was different.

Up. Down.

Up. Down.

Making mountains of neon against the black.

That was better, right?

…………………………………………………………

That was all she remembered.

The blood had entered her eyes, and she seemed to go deaf.

It was like a knife scratched her wrist. A small one, probably the one that she used to skin the apples that they had bought.

Nonetheless, it hurt.

…………………………………………………………

The doctors in the room always looked at the clock.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The hands twirled round and round in a never-ending dance of numbers and lines. Yet Li wouldn't watch it forever.

There was a commotion from downstairs. Yells. Shouts of fright. More glasses breaking. It made his head ache even more. The sounds were getting louder, but varied. So many reactions -

"Li Syaoran, is he here?" Said a man dressed in uniform. Many others filed up behind him, pushing the door wide open and breaking the rusted hinge. They didn't care.

Li knew their uniforms…

Police. They always sought him.

"Li Syaoran. You are under arrest for multiple homicidal cases and attempted homicide."

_This is the end of everything._

_See, Father? You were that stupid. There is such thing as an eventuality._

A smile found itself into his face. Standing up calmly from the cushion, he calmly walked toward the line of drawn guns and put his hands behind his back. All the while, the men were silent. The glint on his amber eyes was just too--

…………………………………………………………

"Ah!"

"Sakura-san! You're awake! Finally!"

"Touya-san? Wait…what happened?"

It was blurry. She was in a room that she didn't know, full of machines, tubes and wires. Her wrist hurt considerably, and her head throbbed with a striking ache. Every muscle was in at least slight pain.

"He tried to murder you."

_He? Li-san? But---that means…_

"Impossible. He was getting the first-aid kit--"

"He tried to murder you. We found him holding the knife, kneeling on the floor, but--Sakura-san, I thought you were not going to make it." Touya said, not wanting to go into details.

Still incredulous, Sakura wished to decide for herself the facts. "Let me talk to Li-san now, Touya-san. I need to clear everything up with him, I'm sure-"

"He's not here. I called the police once that happened, and they're now conducting an investigation where he tried to kill you. That was two hours ago."

_Two hours ago!_

It was impossible.

It was all a dream, right?

She would wake up, and her father would tell her it was a long, horrible, scary and horribly long nightmare. Then he would tuck her into bed with a goodnight kiss, and close the door silently.

But no matter how hard she pinched her cheek, it didn't happen.

No.

…………………………………………………………

"By the facts, Li Syaoran, you are hereby found guilty of multiple homicide and attempted homicide."

He smiled, and everyone was silent. Even the judge was cowering from his high seat. Smirking to the attendees, he stood up straight.

His mother told him to smile always. No matter what the situation - smile.

He broke that promise for so many years. Maybe he could start now.

A gasp went through the crowd at the next announcement.

"You are hereby sentenced to death by lethal injection."


	8. The Moment of Death

**My Happiness, My Heartbreak**

_Author's Notes: What could happen next?_

**Chapter Eight: The Moment of Death **

Deep blue eyes stared out from the darkness, a bird of prey.

And this predator just found his target behind those thick steel bars.

…………………………………………………………

_The gun was unsteady in his small, pale hand._

_There were people. A man, a young boy and a little girl. He knew them as the neighbors from the next block. He knew the man as-_

_His finger jumped backwards._

_The recoil shook his whole tiny frame._

_The air around him shattered, leaving him breathless._

_Then there was this strange, unfamiliar smell in the air._

The cell was so unwelcoming. There was no light except for the dim shine of the cheap and aging fluorescent bulbs. The facility was a dirty and corrupted place, and was filled with some of the strangest, notorious and outrageous criminals in the history of the region.

His area was so small, about the size of the bathroom at the hospital. The bed was nothing more than a hay-filled pillowcase, and everything was so unsanitary. The food disgusted him to the very core.

He knew most of the people here were uncivilized people who turned the wrong way. And it did sound like it - obscene curses and comments, ear-shattering yells, creative insults and the occasional glob of flying spit.

It was unbearable for Li - his conditions on the street were even better than this. At least he got to eat decent food when he could - their twice-a-day meal was close to trash.

His thoughts zoomed to that day of his trial.

"_Sakura…" He said, and the other jumped in surprise. Sakura's face was once of shock, betrayal and anger - as well as confusion and sadness._

"_Yes, what is it?" She said indifferently, refusing to look him in the eye._

"_Thank you for everything." He turned his back on her and followed the guards into the facility._

"_Wait, Li-" she had called out, but he didn't turn back._

"_Just call me Syaoran." He said, the last words he would say to her._

Now that he thought of it, it was really a stupid thing. She wouldn't need to know him anyway, it's not as if they would ever meet again. His situation was hopeless.

As he looked out from the gray bars of his modern-day dungeon, he knew that there was no hope at all for him. He had escaped being caught dozens of times before - maybe it was about time that he fell to his destiny.

…………………………………………………………

Touya knocked gently on his sister's door.

It was a strange thing to call that woman 'sister, who had been nothing but a tenant - close as a friend, but still just a paying tenant.

She had been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past two days since the trial, and whenever she had been awake she had been mumbling about nonsense. It was as if she didn't even know she was eating anything. She just stared off into space.

He knocked again. No response.

Sighing, he laid down the tray beside the door. Hopefully, by the time he returned, there would be nothing left on it.

He descended the stairs with a feeling of emptiness. The past week had been the most challenging and peculiar one in his life - and he had gone through much.

…………………………………………………………

It just wasn't possible.

Li - no, Syaoran - killed my father, and nearly killed me and my brother twice? And killed his own parents?

_Mitokono Touya is my brother - no, not Mitokono Touya, but Kinomoto Touya. Suits him better, in a way. It would be strange to call him 'brother'._

Syaoran had been a stranger that needed help - he seemed pitiful and scrawny. She never expected that indifferent façade could hide such a terrible soul. The one she had begun to trust - turned out to be the one who destroyed her life so many years ago.

It was his fault they were in this condition right now. If it wasn't for him, they would be happily living as a stereotypical merry household, not having much trouble at all.

Still, something troubled Sakura.

_Li Syaoran. He killed his own parents, then killed my only remaining one. How could anyone be so heartless? Is there such a person?_

She could only wonder.

…………………………………………………………

He had been wishing for a miracle for days. There was no one who he could speak to, save for the amazing amount of scratched counter-sticks carved into the wall.

Everyday, the food became more and more terrible.

He would never see the light of the sun again. He, the could-have-been of his family, was going to leave this world as a cold-blooded murderer that nobody loved.

"_Someday, my dear Xiao Lang. Someday, everything will be beautiful."_

He was sure that his mother wouldn't call this unclean, accursed place 'beautiful'.

He sat upon his thin, hard mattress in thought. There was no hope, was there?

Suddenly, a whisper came from the wall.

_Great,_ he thought, _now I'm turning insane…_

…………………………………………………………

"Come on, Sakura. Calm down. It's all finished now, you can't do anything about it." He said, trying to soothe her at any cost.

She was throwing a fit, much like she must have so many years back into the past when she was younger. Touya was having a problem keeping her under control, but he hoped that this would subside soon.

"Sakura…"

Suddenly, she stopped fidgeting, and said;

"I hate him."

…………………………………………………………

"If I am not mistaken, you are the inmate sentenced to death - Li Syaoran." Said a refined tone, not at all similar to the gruff voices of his prisonmates. This voice had a pleasant, light stroke on it, and the sound of a civilized word in this rotten hell-hole was enough to make Syaoran happier.

"Amazing." He said, sarcastic yet confused. "The wall is talking."

"Don't be ridiculous, my friend. It's me, Hiiragizawa Eriol."

His eyes widened. This was Hiiragizawa Eriol - a powerful politician's son who could sweet-talk his way through anything. No one could understand this peculiar young man, his motives, or his thoughts.

Syaoran knew it wasn't a normal thing for him to go around anywhere.

"I was sure you would recognize the name." The blue-haired man said, smiling gently.

"What do you want?" Syaoran answered, not putting any kind of feeling into his sentence. He tried to remain as neutral and calm as possible.

"But of course, I'd like to get you out of here." The other said pleasantly and politely. There was the rustle of cloth as he stood up. "Simply because I desire so. I believe you know a certain Kinomoto Sakura."

Syaoran's heartbeat quickened.

And suddenly, the prison door swung open.

"Shall we go?"

There was a sharp pain in his neck, and suddenly all went black.

…………………………………………………………

"I need to talk to him, Touya." She said suddenly, sweat trickling from her hair.

Touya was unsure. It didn't seem like such a good idea - but the look in Sakura's eyes told him to let her.

"Why? Is it that important?" he asked sternly, feeling dazed.

"Yes."

…………………………………………………………

The guard rounded the corner, dodging stray clumps of rotten food and hurling back insults to the cursing inmates.

But when he got to cell at the very end of the hall, it was empty.

The note was tell-tale.

'Signed, Hiiragizawa Eriol.'

He continued on his patrol.

…………………………………………………………

It was a luxurious and comfortable room, cool and fragrant.

Syaoran woke up quickly, noticing the sudden change in surroundings. Where was he?

He expected someone to pop out of the blue like they do on those mystery novels, but no one did. He was on an extremely soft bed, with curtain drapes and all that fancy lace. He jumped off.

The carpeted floor was smooth on his bare feet as he walked across the room. No one was in sight, and he had no idea where he was.

"I'm glad you've awakened." Said a voice that seemed to come from everywhere.

Apparently, the room had speakers installed. Talk about communication…

"Just make yourself comfortable and enjoy your meal." His eyes darted around, finally catching the delicious-looking dinner on the farthest table, "I know you want explanations, but I will have to give them later."

Click.

Syaoran sighed, knowing that there was nothing more to do. The doors weren't locked, but they didn't move when he tried to push them forward.

…………………………………………………………

"Why this one, Eriol?" Said the man on the seat, indifferently.

Inwardly smirking, Eriol replied, "Kinomoto used to be one of your good business partners, right? I decided that I wanted to play matchmaker once more."

Chuckling, the unknown person nodded in his chair. "You always did love playing Cupid, Eriol."

"Of course."

"Just make sure that those lovebirds don't get in the way."

Eriol laughed, with a hint of something else in it. "No, I won't be playing Cupid for two of them."

"Oh?" Asked the other, intrigued.

"Don't you think it's time I had my own match?"

…………………………………………………………

"He's…gone?" Sakura stammered, clearly confused.

"He's been chosen." The warden said, uninterested and obviously caffeinated.

"What do you mean…chosen?" Touya asked, leaning against the wall pretending not to care. The place looked suspicious.

"It's a complicated thing. You can probably get more leads from this number." And with that, the warden gave them a gold-paper business card.

_**Senator Hiiragizawa**_

The name was strangely familiar to Touya. He didn't know why - perhaps a few more months of regaining his memory would work, but he didn't mention this to Sakura.

"A senator?" Sakura asked, surprised. _Could he have been pardoned?_

"Not just any senator." Said the warden, and went to pour himself another cup of coffee.

"Hiiragizawa?" Sakura realized, shocked. "Hiiragizawa is the president of the floral shop's sector! That's where I work in!"

…………………………………………………………

"I hope you enjoyed your stay so far." Eriol said, prepared for anything.

"Why am I here?" Syaoran said, deciding to put a bit of politeness in his voice.

"I decided to help Sakura and you get back on terms. She is quite a friend to you, isn't she?"


End file.
